A stranger in a strange land

SAUSAGE!!! BACON!!!!!

We arrived in the DC area a few weeks ago. This is our first time back to the US in nearly two years, and it’s the longest I’ve been outside the US. I’m sitting here at Whole Foods eating sushi for lunch, and since coming back I’ve been struck by a number of things that are weird, crazy, or otherwise note-worthy.

Here you go, in no real order:

  • Decision paralysis is real. Too many choices. I’ve spent a lot of time  wandering around grocery stores staring blankly because I can’t make a choice
  • Amazon Prime at Whole Foods. WTH? How does this work? Must figure this out
  • Motorized scooters everywhere. Jury is still out on where or not this is good. Definitely better than Segways, but is walking really so terrible?
  • Luggage carts at Dulles cost $5. FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS. They are free in most of the rest of the world
  • Your Maserati/Porsche/fancy car doesn’t impress me. Stop driving like an asshole because you think you deserve to. Unless you’ve got a McLaren you are just a normal person with an oversized ego going through a midlife crisis
  • DC went through a heat wave. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA times infinity
  • Things got surprisingly existential at the Smithsonian. Cashier: “where are you visiting from?” Me thinking: “Huh. Ummmm…… Oman? We used to live here? Wisconsin? We’re not visiting? Fuck I have no clue what I’m supposed to say” My response: “we are in transit.” Cashier: “oh so you’re on a long road trip?” My response: “yeah something like that.”
  • The US is truly a glorious place. You can eat, drink, wear, be, believe, become and do what you want. That is a big deal. You don’t realize how incredible that is until you no longer have the freedom to make those choices. I walked down the street the other day in shorts and a tank top at 9 am, carrying a case of beer. You know who cared? NO ONE. On another note, sadly, not everyone uses these freedoms for good. And that’s fucked up. We’ve been back for less than three weeks and there have already been at least three mass shootings that I know about. I’m glad we’re going back overseas ASAP.
  • Apparently you can wear a bra and no shirt in public and this is acceptable. Um whaaaaat. I don’t consider myself to be stodgy or old fashioned, but this is absolutely ludicrous.
  • Alcoholic seltzer water is a new and glorious invention. I was at Whole Foods (see several bullet points prior) and the sparkling water was enticing, but ridiculously expensive. Upon further examination, it was 5% ABV. Oooooohhhhhh.

Yeah, it is good to be back. It was hard to leave Oman, but now that we’ve left I’m able to move on more easily. We are looking forward to our adventures ahead, and to our remaining time in the US before going on to Windhoek!

I almost bought one of everything.

Once again, one of everything, please.

The source of my decision paralysis. I went with sushi.

I’ll admit: I’m curious.

So. Many. Choices.

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